Amy M. Spagnola


7 Biggest Celebrity Train Wrecks of 2017

Many celebrities rise from mediocrity to superstardom due to being genetically gifted, having rich parents or with a lot of ambition and talent. No matter how they reached the pinnacle of notoriety, there are those stars that even after reaching the zenith of a Hollywood fame have managed to spoil their riches and end up straight in the gutter. Whether they're messy, sloppy, dysfunctional or have crapped out their careers, these seven Hollywood stars know all about hitting rock bottom.

Here are 7 of the Biggest Celebrity Train Wrecks of 2017:

1. Jessica Simpson
Time has not been kind to Jessica Simpson. Back in the days of daisy dukes and Nick Lachey, the fashion mogul was one of the most admired blondes in tinseltown; she had a killer figure, toned legs, delicate features and mesmerizing curves. Jess was a megastar by any definition and showcased her singing chops right alongside platinum crooners like Britney, Mandy and Christina. Many would have predicted a long and hearty career for the buxom blonde but instead, Jessica, who is the namesake on a gazillion dollar fashion empire has chosen to waste her good looks and pop star status and become a disheveled Betsey Johnson caricature. With a bleach blonde weave, heavy tummy, thick legs and filler face not to mention terrible taste, Ms. Johnson no longer could compete in the elite circle of super famous sexpot singers.

2. Brad Pitt
Poor Brad. He's the ultimate soft spoken good boy turned sexy loner who probably would ditch his lifestyle, money and heartthrob status in an instance for a normal existence. Life and love seems to have made Brad a broken man and fame seems to have crushed his spirit. Despite lots of wealth, Brad seems rather discontent and much like Johnny Depp, a self-soother with booze and blunts. Nowadays, Brad is making a comeback by working on his art, trading vodka for coffee and living life sans Circus du Jolie. Still, he has aged less gracefully with all the stress and strain of life in the public eye. Perhaps he should make a move to Team Aniston? 

3. Rob Kardashian
Under the dark spell of Blac Chyna, Rob has managed to ditch efforts to combat diabetes and battle the bulge and instead has had ended up back to his old love Taco Bell. With constant fighting, a new baby and a broken relationship, Rob has managed to dive into the deep end of rock bottom once again. Part of the Kardashian dynasty and with a pretty boy face, Rob had a lot going for him. Personal trainers, chefs, nutritionists and fashion designers are at his beckon call--why then is he such a hot mess? The Great Wall of Chyna seems to have blocked all his efforts to turn his life around.

4. Matthew Perry
I've written about Matthew before. The former TV star looks disheveled and in dire need of a shower. Perry seems to have not subscribed to the Tao of Brad and refuses to stage a comeback. Once the beloved slim and sassy Chandler Bing, Perry now regularly looks homeless and in need of man bra. Perhaps he quit smoking and has gained some weight or maybe he just doesn't get Botox and haircuts? Or maybe never having a family and losing his career has put him in a somber purgatory? Whatever the reason for Perry's downward spiral--it sure makes you wonder what he wastes all that Friends money on? Hamburgers and hookers??

5. Cameron Diaz
Before she started going to the same plastic surgeon as Renee Zellweger, Diaz was a bona fide babe. She was blonde, tall with clear blue eyes and a perfect dimple-laden smile. In 2017, Diaz seems more like a Hollywood hermit than a big time celebrity. She is wrinkled and filler-ed, paunch-ish and pale. Mrs. Madden walks aimlessly around in mom jeans, goes to the spa looking average at best and grabs groceries all the while resembling an extra in an Amish made for TV movie. Maybe the sequel to The Mask could have Diaz hiding behind one?

6. Ben Affleck
From Chiseled to Fizzled could be the title of Ben's next directorial debut starring himself. Battling demons like gambling, alcohol addiction and other vices like women, Affleck seems far removed from the doting family man of his former co-pilot Matt Damon. Officially and finally divorced and now seeing a new lady love, Ben still looks worse for the wear. Maybe Brad, Rob, Matt, Johnny and Ben can go on some sort of surfing or safari retreat together and do some yoga, meditating and dieting. Also, therapy, lots of therapy.

7. Katy Perry
History is bound to repeat itself and Katy Perry has not escaped the wrath of Groundhog Day. For Perry is walking in the shoes of other infamous pop stars and singers who have gone batsh*t cra cra, i.e. Justin Bieber, Britney Spears and Kanye. This year has been a little Alice and Wonderland-y for Perry as she seems to be going mad. She buzzed her long and luscious locks, wrote diss tweets and songs, threw shade at fellow pop icons and has reunited with eye wandering Orlando. C'mon Katy give us a comeback Roar

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