Amy M. Spagnola


12 Reasons Why You Should Quit Instagram

I was recently at a baseball game on the Fourth of July and was seated behind a family who instead of socializing, enjoying the atmosphere, watching the players and taking in the sun---spent the entire duration of the game on their phones. Snapping pictures, taking video of the wave (you need video of the wave?), checking social profiles and texting. Needless to say, it was obnoxious.

I've been at concerts, comedy shows and even Cirque du Soleil performances wherein people are more concerned with getting a picture than being in the moment and savoring the experience. Maybe a tech-centric existence should be questioned. 

Here are 12 Reasons Why You Should Quit Instagram:

1. Supercharged Envy
Just like with Facebook, no one posts Instagram shots of their cat throwing up on their rug, their acne outbreak or their bloated belly. Insta is all about filters, cute captions and happy hashtags. If you dwell on Instagram you'll find yourself feeling fat, old and ugly. Also, for whatever reason it seems that everyone on Instagram is on some exotic vacation like on a boat trip around the Seychelles or a diving vacation in the Maldives; for those of us residing in Montana or Michigan--we feel left out, ashamed of our 'boring' lives and unsettled by our everyday experiences.

2. Tech Bondage
If you're always hogtied to your phone, how you can you ever truly be in the moment or enjoying yourself. The smell of the air, the color of the sky, the funny thing your friend says--it's all lost in your obsessive need to check your phone or post a picture. No one can truly notice or engage in their surroundings if their mind is caught up in thinking about snapping a picture or editing a shot. 

3. Ad-d Me 
Most people who have the glossy and glamorous pictures on Instagram are making money. Self-promotion is the name of the game on Insta. It's like watching a stream of photographic commercials and that seems rather boring and like a waste of time, right? It sounds nasty but I don't really want to help a bunch of people make money off their abs or their ability to filter photos. A talent is singing, drawing, painting or writing--not taking a thousand selfies or going on epic vacations.

4. Judgement Day
Friends, family and strangers are watching your every move. They know where you live. What you eat. How you like your eggs. All those prying eyes are not only disrupting your privacy but making others questions things about you. How did she have the money to go on that safari? How could she be on that bar crawl the day she called in sick for work? How come he didn't tag me in that photo? All these insane questions and judgements are passed on your portfolio of photographs. Isn't it better to avoid all the drama---and stay off IG.

5. Under Pressure
I take maybe a handful of pictures a year and a few more around the holidays. In our parents and grandparents' era, they might have one major family photograph session their whole lives. Now, if I don't capture and share my kids' first everything or post all my outings and adventures online--it means I have a boring, meaningless life. 

6. Overshare-Aholism
I have more than a few friends on Facebook and Instagram who need an intervention. They share way too much. We don't care or need to see a new picture of your baby every single day. Baby goes to the grocery store. Baby wears a cute outfit. Baby smiles at the camera. Baby sleeps. I'm so confused and confounded that these people don't realize they're not the center of the universe and many people don't give two flips about their kids' milestones. 

7. Attention! Attention! Attention!
If you're desperate to be liked, wanted and included, by all means share and overshare on Instagram. Post every hour. Constantly change, tweak and alter your Insta-game. Be like Amy Schumer in the movie Snatched, wherein her character takes awkward and ego-infused selfie after selfie to have strangers like and approve of her photo stream on Instagram. It's SO narcissistic. Maybe do other things to boost your self-esteem instead--like gasp! take a class, play a sport or learn a new language.

8. Capture Everything, Enjoy Nothing
Sorry but your oatmeal breakfast, your new haircut or your shoes on the sidewalk are not worth sharing and broadcasting to the world. No one cares. Get over yourself.

9. Fake Followers
At least on Facebook many people know or have some strained or superficial relationship with their 'friends' whereas on Instagram most people have heaps of followers who are all unknown weirdos living in their parents' basement creeping. Why share significant life milestones or major moments with a bunch of strangers? That would be crazy, right?

10. Pass on Privacy
If you're never concerned about your personal safety, your home or your possessions not to mention your family--by all means post shots of your brand new Lexus or your cool upgraded Apple computer. If, however, you're attached to your valuables and children--maybe don't let the world know where you live or what you own.

11. Locked in a Cell
People already spend far too much time on devices and disconnected from human interaction. Instagram just provides another reason not to live an actual life but rather a fake one. If you're hellbent on ending up alone at home with a bunch of pictures to prove you had an exciting life, then keep shooting and editing and avoiding real flesh and blood connection. Instagram is just another social media time suck. 

12. Kids Kount
If young children see you stressed over your phone, constantly checking it or texting incessantly, they will get the idea that it's acceptable to live on your cell and never go outside or play with friends or have one meal without being chained to a screen. iPads and iPhones will become glued to their little cute chubby hands--and do you really want this for your kids?

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