Monday, August 07, 2017

12 WTF?!? Kardashian Fashion Trends

While the Kardashians are renowned for their trendsetting styles, risqué wardrobe spectacles and body baring clothing, they aren't flawless fashionistas. In fact, Kim, Khloe and Kourtney along with Kylie and Kendall Jenner, have had more than a few fashion fails. This year alone, Kim has wowed with an array of strange escort happy clothing like spiderweb see-through dresses, lucite thigh-high boots and even trench coat reveals.

Still, despite the ongoing skin shows and the ab-tastic displays, this crew from Calabasas has flopped in the fashion game many times over.

Here are 12 WTF?!? Kardashian Fashion Trends:

1. Bad Moms Club
While the Kardashian sisterhood has made clear heels, cropped tops and dusters all the rage, their love affair with high-waisted jeans and shorts is still a bit off. Exhibit K: Kourtney models the best in thrift store wear with a ratty 80s Fila sweatshirt, high waisted mom jeans and a pair of white sneakers.




2. Sparta Sandals

Kourtney and Kompany love a good pair of clunky, chunky or metallic gladiator sandals and heels. While this trend lasted longer than Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries' marriage, it still never looked good even on petite powerhouse Kourtney. Is that a linen shirt with distressed acid wash jeans and gladiator heels? Eek. 




3. In the Army Now

Khloe and Kylie Jenner both have a proud affection for camouflage clothing. From jackets to pants to bras and sweats, these two love a good jungle themed ensemble. Perhaps it helps them hide from peering paparazzi? Even it it gives them good cover, it's not flattering or fashionable.




4. Theme Team

The Kardashians love costumes, dressing up and plenty of glam garments. Even still, their love affair with all things theme is a bit bizarre. Kim decided July 4th of this year was the perfect time for some patriotic pride...but red, white and ew. 




5. Distracting Duo

Kim Kardashian rarely goes a day without baring some nipple, showcasing side boob or offering up a  cleavage expo for eyes everywhere. Now, Kylie Jenner seems to be following big sister Kim with ample displays of flesh. Can't they afford some clothing with coverage?





6. Shake and Shine 

While sequin does catch the light and can look awesome in a party picture or two, wearing a tracksuit made of blue bauble-y bits is just a bad idea. First, it looks like you belong back in Kindergarten. Second, it's wayyyy too flamboyant and third, it hurts the peepers. Back away from the shiny objects ladies.




7. Prison Break

Kimmy loves a good caged, bandage and bondage look any day of the week. She is in her fashion element wearing buckle-ish dresses and formfitting spider web fabric. Dear Diary, please let Kim Kardashian find a new fashion calling card besides the skintight black and nude dress. 




8. Girls Gone Wild

Cheetah print is not to be taken lightly. It roars, it growls and it makes a sudden animalistic statement. For those seeking to incorporate this fabric into their wardrobe, follow the rules and use sparingly. Maybe a pair of cheetah pumps or a cute bag with a light cheetah print, even a scarf is acceptable.  Never go full cheetah with a trench coat, pants or top, it's too zootopia. 




9. Birds of Prey

Speaking of animals, things that must be stripped of squawking creatures is not recommended as fashion statements. Kourtney used to LOVE her feathery fashion (HERE, HERE and HERE), while Kim has played around with creating fowl clothing looks. It never flies. 




10. For Fur's Sake

Fuzzy bags, furry bedroom slipper-sandals and a skintight satin dress--is Khloe shooting a new TV show called Walk of Style Shame? 




11. The Fast Track

Bedroom lingerie and sporty athleisure wear is not a match made in heaven. Perhaps this famous clan of comely sisters should FINALLY give up on the tracksuit trend forever. C'mon if JLo can ditch the track, then anyone can quit. Just say no.




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