Monday, February 27, 2017

5 Biggest Oscar Fashion Fails 2017

While the Academy Awards is the 'see and be seen' event of the year--the Superbowl for the rich and famous--this year's award show was filled with a slew of strange and sad moments. With political undertones, odd flubs and some somber notes, it was a strange showcase of miscellaneous. Nonetheless the Oscars was the usual spectacle of gowns, glamour and gaudiness. And what celebrities hit a home run in the fashion field? Michelle Williams, Emma Stone and Nicole Kidman all looked effortlessly chic...but there were quite a few strikeouts in the sea of superstars.

Here are the 5 Biggest Fashion Fails from the 89th Academy Awards:

1.) Kelly Ripa-Madame Butterfly
When I think of the perfect Oscars gown--I often think of taffeta and butterflies. But that is only if I'm drinking a lot of hard alcohol. Ripa decided to showcase her enviable, gym-beaten bod in a cacophony of odd textures, embellishments and dreary colors. Reminiscent of a bad prom dress circa 1985 with a bit of Lisa Frank flair, this garish gown should've never left designer Carolina Herrera's showroom.


2.) Jessica Alba-Bathrobe Blues
The Honest Company founder hit up the Vanity Fair Oscar party in Beverly Hills to show off her wicked sense of style. Except she had forgotten to change out of her fuzzy bathrobe to attend the celebrity bash. A high ponytail with metallic platforms added extra bizarre to this unflattering fluffy, baby blue bird-look from Ralph and Russo. Also, WTF is up with her makeup--dark lips, heavy eyeshadow and caked-on bronzer make this millionaire mom of two look like a Tammy Faye impersonator.




3.) Jessica Biel-Raiding King Tut's Tomb
I absolutely adore Jessica Biel for her consistent lack of any fashion know-how despite being ridiculously wealthy. Biel is literally always wearing something dowdy, awkward or unflattering. Girl has no fashion game. Last night's Oscars were no exception. Sporting a gold long sleeved gown with feathery choker and severe slicked back hair--Mrs. Timberlake looks ready for her Game of Thrones cameo. Not only is this Kaufman Franco dress aging, but it looks like she tried to resemble the Oscar statue which is just so sad. Emoticon frowny face.


4.) Dakota Johnson-50 Shades of Crazy
Whether or not Dakota Johnson would be famous without being the offspring of celebrity parents--is probably an easy no. While she has a bookish charm--if there is such a thing--this eccentric and soft-spoken actress is hardly a knockout or especially captivating onscreen. Here, Dakota looks like she's auditioning for the grandma roll in some scary horror film where's she actually been undead for a very long time. Swaddled in silky gold Gucci ruffles and a high neckline with a built-in antique-y necklace, she looks ready to interview for the funeral parlor job at her local mortuary. You're hired Dakota.


5.) Scarlett Johansson-Hot Topic Hottie
ScarJo has been off the grid for what feels like ages. She was off in Europe eating gelato and procreating so she needed a break from Hollywood life. But she's back, mohawk and all. The former Mrs. Reynolds looks a little worse for the wear in a sideboob baring Azzedine Alaia gown with a metallic bad-biker belt straight from the clearance rack at the nearest gag gift store. Though the Avengers star still had enviable skin, a killer curvy shape and small waist, this political-minded starlet wore an odd reptilian print gown with a drapey shape that was just not terribly impressive or exciting.

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