Amy M. Spagnola


10 Reasons Being in Your Thirties Sucks

Apparently age 33 is known as a blissful or the happiest time in life. Not yet at the Ferrari-buying midlife crisis age 44 (43 for men), and past the hit or miss saturn return at age 29, number 33 is supposed to be the sweet spot in the middle. For myself and my peers it's a time of change--new babies, marriages and home ownership--it's also a time to leave behind the frills and folly of youth. No more late night Dorito runs, impromptu Moab vacations or sleeping until noon. So, if 33 marks a transition to adulthood--is it truly the happiest time of life?

For me, 33 was a time to face a health crisis, to adjust to marriage and to try puppy motherhood. Age 33 could be your year to finish a master's degree, get a promotion or find a spouse.

No matter what you're striving for or hoping for, here are 10 reasons why being in your thirties might blow.

1.) Enormous Expectations
In your 20s, it's "Ok-ish" to live at home. It's cool to have a business card with the title of "Ski Bum" or "Perma Student" or to date a bunch of potheads, baristas and gamers. At age 30, it starts to look a little like Loserville, USA.

2.) Spinster Status
Gone are the carefree boozy days of coming home in a stanky t-shirt while nursing blisters from a walk of shame. Life is more serious. The single numbers are dwindling and the fish left are not the 'catch of the day' anymore.

3.) Professional Pressure
Time to step up the girl boss game. Internships aren't cool now.

4.) Metabolism Mourning
Gone are the days of macaroni and cheese binges and lollipops for breakfast. Hello quinoa! Hiya broccoli! Good to meet you kale. Failure to change dietary habits in the thirties amounts to lack of energy, a widening thigh gap and rolls aplenty.

5.) Cash Crisis
Very few people in their 30s are rolling in dough. In fact, many are facing $15/hour jobs with $100,000 in school loans.

6.) Friendly Fighting
Who has the biggest house? Who has the best car? Who takes the nicest vacations? Friends are bound to be jealous and judgmental of each other as they strive to compete for many lifestyle markers of success in the 30s.

7.) Baby Boom
Childbearing is all the rage in this decade. And, yes, babies are SO cute. Yet, babies mean less social time, free time, self-care time and more. Also, they can ruin your iPad with spaghetti sauce.

8.) Goals Galore
No longer does it seem cool to waste days skateboarding or watching Netflix marathons. Suddenly life seem more finite and fragile.

9.) Chasing Cheer
Searching for happiness in the third decade is more about pursuing life affirming pastimes and less about hedonistic hits. It becomes more complicated to find meaningful work, noble people and nourishing outlets rather eat a box of Twinkies and play Halo until dawn.

10.) Reduced Relaxation
People in their senior years are happy as they've moved beyond the hustle and bustle of life; they're accepting of the past and are enjoying the present. People in their thirties are uber-concerned with career, future finances, relationships and building happy homes.

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