Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Mug of the Moment: Top 7 Most Awkward Kim Kardashian Magazine Covers

Kim Kardashian gives good face. Whether it's a serene selfie or a perfectly posed paparazzi pic, girl knows how to work her mysterious dark eyes and full, luscious lips. But sometimes Kimmy tries too hard to sell us on her sex appeal. Whether it's a blitz of #wokeuplikethis no filter front pages or its lots and lots and lots of nude-ish covers, she's prone to overexposing her life and her body. While there have been successful and sexy covers with Kim front and center, her insatiable spotlight addiction makes her somehow less interesting and more awkward. Maybe it's a kase of Kanye that makes this megastar prone to crazy covers? Whatever the reason may be, this Kardashian is worth watching. Let the mag madness begin...

#7. Allure Magazine March 2012
If I was going to be on Muscle & Fitness magazine I certainly wouldn't push out my paunch and let my cellulite breathe. Going au naturel while being on the cover of a magazine devoted to cosmetics and the power of makeup is seriously mystifying. Add in the fact that she wears makeup to bed, has a glam squad the size of Texas and takes two hours to get ready, and this barefaced Allure look is totes cra cra. Not only does lipgloss-less Ms.West look tired and a bit druggy, but she's also got straggly beach hair and a weird half smile. 

#6. Vogue Magazine April 2014
Being betrothed to one of the richest rappers on the planet gets you many perks and one of them is the cover of Vogue magazine. Appearing like a stoned Tim Burton character, Kim cuddled Kanye for her odd wedding shoot for one of the biggest fashion magazines in the world. Reportedly loathed by Vogue editor Anna Wintour, Kim felt vindicated and victorious with her robotic zombie bride cover. 

#5. Cosmopolitan UK May 2011
Even more proof that photoshop in the wrong hands is like arming a two-year-old with a bucket of nails, this disastrous Cosmopolitan cover proves that even an Armenian American princess in a teeny yellow bikini can't save a weird digital photo. Looking a bit like  Aubrey O'Day meets Farrah Abraham, this plastic beach Barbie photo is just downright weird.

#4. Spanish V October 2012
As if being attacked by a haute couture Sesame Street skin coat, Kim really looks pouty for this strange cover. A lacy nightie and chunky necklace finish the shaggy style simultaneously adding more question marks. Why is this cover so furry? Why is Kim so dopey-eyed? Why is the coat really pissed off? So many questions. So few answers.

#3. W Magazine November 2010

How refreshing. Kim Kardashian went naked again for no real reason. While I have a strong hunch that someday Kim will find herself bocce ball champion in her local Calabasas nudist colony, for now, it's all about showing of her 30-something bod to the world. T&A is her signature/her brand/her calling card; she also has a talent for riding private jets and Snapchatting. 

#2. Hollywood Reporter January 2012
There is something odd about this cover. I don't know if it's the hands that are clenched together in a prisoner-sort-of-way, the busy bodycon dress with a strange turtleneck or Kim's menacing expression that just makes this cover cringe-worthy. The horse hair ponytail doesn't help matters. Flirty and fun Kim is nowhere to be found. Was it a period day??

#1. Paper Magazine Winter 2014
Arguably one of the craziest magazine covers of all time, Kim showed off all her goodies in Paper magazine's winter 2014 issue. With a rooster hairstyle and a choker of pearls, Kim officially 'broke the Internet.' Super fans were delighted to see Kim show off her booty-iful assets and never-ending curves, while others were disturbed by the champagne wielding and glossy butt-ed Kardashian. The unicorn hairstyle, black satin gloves and full frontal nudity created much dismay and skyrocketing sales of baby oil. Regardless, Kim did what she does best and got viral attention galore. Cheers to you, cork popping Kimmy! 

No comments: