Amy M. Spagnola


StupidCupi47: Why You Should Seriously Hustle in the Dating World if You're a Single Woman in Your 30s

Sing it! All the single ladies, all the single ladies, now put your hands up...or is it down??

While it's important to be loud and proud of your single and carefree status, it's also crucial to remember that men aren't like wine, they DON'T get better with age. In fact, most men, like any human being, accure crap as time goes on.

Yes, they acquire heaps of dysfunction and kids and bowling balls. While this is not to say that these aforementioned men, who have been married or committed before, and gathered life polyps as a result, aren't worthy of your company at a quaint Italian bistro. Just be forewarned. Prepared. Armed. Men who have baggage are significantly more complicated to date than a man who is minus the children, exes, alimony, child support and other entanglements.

Reasons it's highly complicated to date a man who has created another family:

*Ex-asperation. Dealing with a partners past paramours can be trying and stressful. There is always some tension and level of discomfort.

*Money Matters-Men who have children with other women often owe $$$. They need to pay for their kids and oftentimes, their exes. The process of shelling out monthly monies to other parties can create financial strain in a current relationship. Goodbye Cabo! Hello payments for daycare and diapers.

*Dysfunction Junction-Men who have mated with others and created offspring or have spent significant time with exes and embroiled in other family situations are bound to have problems with knowing how to create a harmonious and lasting union; they may struggle with communication, problem solving or fidelity.

*Resentment-When your new love has to take his ex-love to the airport with the kids or needs to go on a daddy and son fishing trip while you had plans for a mountain staycation, it could build up resentment and frustration.

*Parenting Responsibilities-Men who have created children should spend time with them, and thus, their attention will always be divided if you procreate with men who founded other family units.

*Patterns-While many divorced men go onto lasting relationships, the cold, hard truth is that second marriages and third marriages have much higher divorce rates, with an astounding 67% of second marriages ending in divorce. Source.

The bottom line? If you're a single woman approaching your thirties or already there, it's crucial to hit the dating scene hard. Single, well-adjusted and untethered men will become extinct by the time you're in your forties. Unless you happen to be Amal Clooney, the older, handsome and monogamous marrying bachelor doesn't exist.

Single ladies should put their hands on their keyboards and mine for men online or through social networks. It's now or never.

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